it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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