Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
