you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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