We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
