i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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