it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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