I hope mine doesn't look like that
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
