I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
