yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it because I queefed?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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