the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I supernannyed him into submission
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
