Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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