I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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