So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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