U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
