batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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