we have officially mastered the walk of shame
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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