its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
