i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
