I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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