he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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