In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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