And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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