does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
