32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
