her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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