I think i peed on brittanys purse
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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