Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
