I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Holy sore nipples Batman
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