Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
