I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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