he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
