after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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