did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
