Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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