I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
