I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my mouth tastes like poor choices
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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