Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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