Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i dont even know how to be here
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
