so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
