There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We named our party play list daddy issues
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I had to cum in my sink.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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