we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
