You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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