I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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