i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
