It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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