A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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