All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
