I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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