I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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