You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
