Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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