his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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