Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just had sex bonerless
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
