all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
