when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
