what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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