Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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