Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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