No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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